Introducing someone speical!!!!

Much has been realized and new discovery's have been made.

I discovered that I was being controlled by being vicariously parented by my relatives that aren't my parents. (Mainly my uncle). I got really mad when I made the discovery. Because I felt like I wasn't living my own life and I was letting other people's "advice" decide for me. Soon I was listening to so many people that I got lost in their advice and I didn't know what I wanted. I AM SICK OF IT! So instead of letting my future be decided for me I am going to do WHAT I FUCKING WANT FROM NOW ON!!!

My parents were really supportive and realized that I am an adult and though they might not agree with my choices all the time they respect that is what I want. So they have realized that I am an adult now and they will respect my decisions. And if I come to them for advice then they will give it. It doesn't mean that I HAVE to follow it.

I was pretty pissed off when I found out what was going on. So I wrote an e-mail that I was going to send to my uncle. I wrote that I (in a nice way) that I was doing what I wanted and he needed to back off and respect my decisions. He pulled the overhanging card of "being in the business for many years so I obviously know what I am talking about" and that really bothered me. Unfortunately that was one of the things that he pulled on me to convince me that I needed to stay or at least come back for Fall term. Not going to happen. I ended up not sending it because I realized that burning that bridge would be a horrible idea at this point.

{Oh... I should mention that this whole thing started when I wasn't sure when I was getting his car...

I was on the phone with my sister who is my informant with what the family says about me. She told me that my uncle said I was "upset about the car" (I mentioned earlier that I was getting his car). and I got mad and I said "okay that's it. I am done. I am fucking done" I told her that I was sick of the behind the back bullshit. I decided not to take the car. I actually don't feel comfortable about taking that car because of how shaky it gets when it stops and... taking it across country... seems like a bad idea. Anyway I realized a lot during that conversation.

So I decided that I was coming home and I wasn't going to be going back to California for a little while. Plus I discovered that Fullerton was full for new students. I looked around for hours for other schools in California and I couldn't find anything that had my medium or they were freakishly expensive. So that is when I decided to come back home for school. Because I would pretty much have school paid for. I am an Oregon resident and I'll be able to apply for grants and scholarships that are superficially for Oregon resident students.}

So instead I sent him a condensed version saying that I didn't want the car and that I was flying home in May and I've applied to Fullerton (which is a lie... About Fullerton I mean). I don't like lying to him about how I am feeling... but I think for the moment it will be better if I play the Anderson Family game by Lying. Since that is what they are good at. And he e-mailed me back saying that he was going to give me a call to find out what was going on.

I am still waiting for that phone call. He did e-mail me saying that I should call him… But I think I am going to claim ignorance and not do it. If he wants to talk to me he can call me back; I’ll just say that I got really busy with working and stuff to get back to him.

He did talk to my mother last night however and told her that he was going to sit down with me and talk about “What classes I am taking” and map that all out. I don’t think that is a bad idea necessarily but… that is something that I could see my PARENTS doing with me. Not my UNCLE. I realize that he has been in “the biz” for long enough that he would know what classes would be good. But at the same time… I think that is border line parenting. And this is coming from a man who wanted me out of his bachelor pad ASAP. Dick move there.

My mom told me that I DON’T have to meet with him. And I think I am not going to. This is my education and for once in my life I want to control what I want to learn and not have someone telling me what to do. I don’t mind if an academic advisor tells me what classes they think I should take. Because they won’t push me around too much.

I am glad to finally take charge of my life. I am going to be flying home May 3rd. I still have to buy my plane ticket. Which will have to be next paycheck… but at least things are happening.

I know what I am doing now.

BEHOLD PLAN B V.2!!!!!!

It is ingenious really...

So the plan is:

* I will be shipping most of my shit home.
* I am going to be finishing the FAFSA form (and NOT fucking it up this time)
* I am applying to Portland State U.
* I will be also applying for scholarships and grants to help pay for school.
* I am working until the end of April and saving my money.
* I will be hopping on a plane May 3rd to come home.
* I will be getting my driver's license when I get home
* I might get a car from my dad's mechanic...
* My boss from City Coffee might give me my old job back.
* I will be going to PAX with a few friends and my sister
* And I will go to PSU in the fall and I will take art and Japanese.


That is the plan in basic format. I decided not to embellish it too much.

I have learned so much in such a few short months... My parents laugh and say that I have gotten all my major life lessons out of the way. I have learned much about managing money so that I can have a place to live and food to eat. I think I have become WAY better at saving money then when I was at home. I am kind of glad that I can culture shock myself so quickly that I have to learn how to adapt in a short period of time. It makes things hard as hell at first but it gets easier after I've run into all the brick walls... At least I will be coming home with an associates degree on life.

I can't wait until February is over.