Plan of action

So after much discussion, my husband and I are going to move to California next year. I am dropping out of Ai (the Art Institute) and I am going to go to PCC to take some pre-req classes. I am going to start learning a language (most likely Spanish). I am going to take my knowledge test for my driver's license next week. Which makes me happy, I am FINALLY going to get my license! I am excited! After a year we are going to move to Cali and live there for a year and then hopefully I will get into Fullerton. Fullerton has a really awesome art department and the kind of school pace that I can learn and absorb knowledge instead of cramming it all in like how it is at Ai. I am sure that some people can learn like that but I can't. That was an expensive lesson to learn.
My husband just got a permanent position in his job which will teach him a lot and give really good job experience. The best part is that can will be able to take that job title anywhere. I know after all I have said and all the lessons that I have had to learn, I just feel like this is the right course of action. There is nothing for me here and I was fooling my self thinking that I could stay here and suffer through my education to learn things that I didn't want to learn. I am excited and for the first time in a while I feel really happy.

Where to go from here?

There is always a time, at least once a month, where I feel like I am heading nowhere. I work really hard and at the end of the day I feel like I have nothing to show for it. 

I hate my job, which is something that I have said for years but I don't know how else to get out. However, I do know one way and it was the way I did it before, but that takes planning and time and resources. But it also means freedom. That I would finally be free! Away from this job and this city. I am almost at the point where I say to hell with responsibilities and why not get out of this god awful place. The time for that has passed, since I now have a husband and going to school. But what about breaking free?  What about getting out? I want to break free! I want to get out! 

There have been things that I have been dealing with and things that I have not been dealing with. I am trying to get sorted out at the same time making more of a mess of what I truly want. 

What do I truly want? 

I want... to go to California. I want to go back. There is nothing for me here... and even when I graduate art school I don't feel like it is the right place to be. I think I want to start again in California and make a fresh start. I know I can make it there. I don't want to go to the Art Institute any more and I don't want to go to PNCA. I want to go to Fullerton. Only problem, I need a year of residency in California, which I don't have. I could transfer to the Art Institute down in Santa Monica but same problem, no cheaper tuition. I feel stuck... and I need to be released. 

The job hunting is failing, the longer it takes the worse it is for me at my current job. I don't know what else to do. I am not giving up, I am just not sure if what I am doing is right. The Art Institute isn't right for me and I don't want to go there anymore. However, PNCA isn't really right for me either. I don't know... sometimes I wish I could hit a reset button. I am sure that things would have been different... I just want things to be different now.