I hate my job, which is something that I have said for years but I don't know how else to get out. However, I do know one way and it was the way I did it before, but that takes planning and time and resources. But it also means freedom. That I would finally be free! Away from this job and this city. I am almost at the point where I say to hell with responsibilities and why not get out of this god awful place. The time for that has passed, since I now have a husband and going to school. But what about breaking free? What about getting out? I want to break free! I want to get out!
There have been things that I have been dealing with and things that I have not been dealing with. I am trying to get sorted out at the same time making more of a mess of what I truly want.
What do I truly want?
I want... to go to California. I want to go back. There is nothing for me here... and even when I graduate art school I don't feel like it is the right place to be. I think I want to start again in California and make a fresh start. I know I can make it there. I don't want to go to the Art Institute any more and I don't want to go to PNCA. I want to go to Fullerton. Only problem, I need a year of residency in California, which I don't have. I could transfer to the Art Institute down in Santa Monica but same problem, no cheaper tuition. I feel stuck... and I need to be released.
The job hunting is failing, the longer it takes the worse it is for me at my current job. I don't know what else to do. I am not giving up, I am just not sure if what I am doing is right. The Art Institute isn't right for me and I don't want to go there anymore. However, PNCA isn't really right for me either. I don't know... sometimes I wish I could hit a reset button. I am sure that things would have been different... I just want things to be different now.
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