IT'S MARCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Not much longer now.

YAY!

I am so excited. I am going home soon.
I can't wait to take that plane out of here!

Although I still haven't told my roommate about all this... and I am trying to think of what to say... I mean I don't want her to think that I am running out on her since I'm not really. The rent is paid for for May... and I am letting the leasing office know that I am leaving. And I will be paying for April's utilities so really it is not like I am leaving with out paying anything. I get the feeling that the best way to do this is just to tell her the truth. For me to tell her that I am leaving in late April because I really need to come home since that is where I want to be right now. I want to see my friends, family and kitty again... I am not doing what I want to do right now and it is WAAAAYYY to expensive to live here. I won't leave her with out paying the utilities. If she wants me to help pay for May's utilities that's fine but really I need to go home.

I think she knows some of what is going on since I have talked about it over the phone with my family while she was in the next room several times...

I just don't think I am going to tell her right away. I'll let her know towards the end of March. I am pretty sure that my plans are going to be pretty solid by then. Since I will have my plane ticket and everything mostly set in place.

I think I will also feel more solid about my plans as soon as I buy my plane ticket. I really want to buy it today but I just don't have the cash for it right now. I could buy it like tomorrow or monday since I get paid on tuesday.... I guess...

ARGH!!!

I am really bored!

there is nothing to do in this shity town and I don't want to leave the apartment because there is nothing to do... I don't want to go to the gym and it is too cold to swim right now. I want to do like fifty things at once but I can't because either I don't have what I want to do or what I want to watch... or I've done everything like a billion times! I am going insane in this tiny white room and I don't know what to do about it. It really should have pads on the walls or something.

Also I am frustrated with not being where I want to be right now... I am feeling like I did in Portland... except that I can't leave whenever I want...

WOW!

Just now I found an even EARLIER flight for the same price.... and I still won't have to transfer planes! I have to figure out if I will be able to do it or not.

I might be able to... I would just have to let my roommate when I am leaving and tell her that I am still going to pay for April's Utilities... If I could leave earlier that would be so awesome! It would be three days after I quit the Coffee Pub... that way I won't have to spend ten days figuring out how I am going to feed my self and trying to find things to do... because if I am bored now I will be TEN TIMES more bored by that time! I am just going to have to convince my roommate somehow that this is going to work out...

I sware to the gods above I would give... anything... to be able to go home.

I think the 19th is a good date. It would be a little bit before I have to pay the utilities... I just have to figure out how it will sound since I want to make sure that I pay for what I need to pay for and make it seem like I am not trying to run away from my responsibility.

ARRGHHHH!!!! I just want to come home... fucking responsibility and being an adult. god damn it.

I am going to talk to my mom first before I buy the ticket however... She may have some good advice for what to do.